SINGLE PARENTING: Making Assumptions On Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is upon us. If you’re a single parent, are you making assumptions about spending time with your kid? Have you discussed it with your ex and your child?
During the first few years following our divorce, my ex-wife and I were awarded joint custody. We lived close by so everything worked out well.
But later, when we lived three states away from each other, my ex and I both had to compromise when it came to holidays. We could no longer drive the kids to one another’s home mid-day on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Sharing was hard, especially when minor holidays (i.e. Memorial Day, Father’s Day) didn’t merit a road trip.
Whether we live close to our child or not, rotating those special occasions will eventually be an issue. We need to emotionally prepare ourselves by having a plan, asking each other some questions:

  • Should we rotate every other holiday?
  • What special days do I consider unimportant to be with my child? Which are non-negotiable?
  • How does your former spouse feel about this?
  • What’s my child’s expectation?

As Mother’s Day and Father’s Day approach, discussing these with the ex-spouse is key. Now it’s your turn….share your advice for the rest of us. What has worked or not worked for you?